Bucket List

I think everyone should do this. It is a list of things you want to accomplish before you die. These can’t be life goals, like have kids or get married. They need to be random things you’ve always wanted to do. The catch is you actually have to try and accomplish some of them!

Here’s mine!

1. Learn how to drive a stick shift (yes, yes, it’s pathetic I know)
2. Swim in the Dead Sea
3. Sing on Broadway (this is one of those unattainable ones..if you know me you know why..I am not exactly musically inclined)
4. Live in London
5. See Gorillas (not at the zoo, I want to see them wild)
6. Drive across the US. (Not coasts, I want to see all the middle bits)
7. Go to a clambake
8. Tend bar on an island..a la Cocktail with Tom Cruise…wait screw the working, I just want to live there.
9. See Mount Rushmore
10. Learn to snow board (and hopefully not kill myself)
11. Go to Russia
12. Take the Sound Of Music Tour in Austria (I’m going to sing every damn word of that movie the entire time too!!)
13. See the Seven Wonders of the World (yeah I know there are like 25 wonders, but I’ve got my seven all picked out)
14. See Buddhist Monks in a monastery
15. Canoe down the Zambezi

Tell me some of yours..I can’t promise I won’t steal them…

Ugly Cry

As I was perusing the movie story today I saw P.S. I love you. Probably one of the saddest movies I have seen in my life. Mae and I saw this Hilary Swank, Gerrard Butler movie in the theatre. Bad Move. We left looking like we had just been in a fight with a mascara wand and lost…badly. This was seriously NOT cute, ugly cry to the 100th degree.

However, sometimes a good, ugly, snotty movie cry is just what you need. I started thinking about movies that make me weep like a fawn no matter how many times I’ve seen them. I am a huge fan of the movie cry, it’s so much better than the real life cry because you aren’t really sad, just lost in the story.

So in case any of you are in the need for a nice weeping sob fest here are some of my favorite sad movies.

1.  Terms of Endearment. This is THE sad movie of all time. It stars Shirley Maclaineand Debra Winger as mother and daughter. This movie came out in 1983 but has lost none of its relevance. Let me set the scene for you..Debra Winger has three children with a real asshole husband (Jeff Daniels) she has terminal cancer and is in the last stages. Her mother Shirley Maclaineis taking care of Debra, the kids and dealing with the husband. There is a scene in the hospital where Shirley Maclaineruns around the nurses station screaming “My daughters in pain, she needs her pills, get my daughter her pills!!”.This might be the most heartbreaking moment in cinematic history. And we still have deathand custody of the children to deal with!

2. The Notebook. The undisputed best love story of all time. Allie and Noah. You’re a bird, I’m a bird. Life-long love. Die at the same time cause they can’t live without each other. WOAH. GOOD MOVIE! This movie is great because it spans these people’s entire lives, it invests you in them. Too often there are movies where the people meet in one day and love each other madly. This does not ring true. Noah waited 14 years for Allie, then spent his entire life making her happy and moved away from his home to be with her. It doesn’t get much better than that. This movie is what I think every women on earth secretly yearns for. And if they say differently they are lying to you!

3. Steel Magnolias. Sally Field is the best freaker outter in the history of the universe. When she screams “I was supposed to go first, I was ready to go first” It rips your heart out and stomps on it. Add Julia Roberts, Dolly Parton, Shirley Maclaine (she’s a common theme in this post), and Olympia Dukakis and you have got an all star cast, ready to make you cry so hard you throw up. This movie is not only sad it is funny, has great lines and has a great message. The whole package. Some of the aforementioned great lines–

“Laughter through tears is my favorite emotion”

“If you don’t have anything nice to say..come sit by me!”

“You know I love you more than my luggage”

“I’m not mean, I’ve just been in a very bad mood for 40 years!”

4. Rent. This is lesser known than the others and a musical so you might not have seen it. If not, you NEED to!!! This movie has the most fantastic music of all time. The music makes this movie. The subject matter is touchy and might turn some people off, but it teaches empathy and understanding for people that are not necessarily like you but have feelings and problems nonetheless. This story is about a group of friends living in NYC in the late 80s-early 90s. Most of them are HIV positive and they are all poverty stricken. When Angel dies and the group is fighting at his funeral it is all I can do not to throw up from crying so hard. This movie feels more real than the others on the list and I am partial to musicals so that could have to do with my attachment to it. And of course my friends and I are total Rentheads (15 years too late..ah well!)

5. Lastly, I am putting When a Man Loves a Woman. This has Meg Ryan and Andy Garcia. Two of the cutest kids on the face of the earth played their children, Mae Whitman and Tina Majorino. These children make this movie. Quick background for you, Meg Ryan is an alcoholic, it is about how they deal with it and all the underlying issues that go with alcoholism. These children abslutely break your heart a million times in this movie. There is a scene where Andy Garcia has given up and is moving, he goes to tell the older girl (who isn’t his, he adopted her) he’s leaving and she asks him since she’s not his real kid will he still come visit her…Sweet lord, I’m tearing up just thinking about it. This movie is poignant and has exceptional acting. Andy and Meg are both fantastic and the kids, of course, steal the show.

 

Go to the movie store right now and get some of these, or queue em up baby!! But be sure to get the tissues, it’s gonna get ugly!

 

Did I miss any really great sad ones?

I’m a Jumper.

So today a friend made an offhanded comment about how I am not cautious when it comes to dating. This is not a surprise to me, I’m not completely ignorant about myself. For some reason this stuck with me all morning. I started thinking about how, yes I am kind of a jump in with both feet kind of person.

I have really only had two big fears in my life.

1. To come to the end of my life and look back with regret. I am terrified to sit by myself when I’m 80 and think Damnit I should have done _____. I want to sit there by myself and be content with my memories, knowing I left no stone unturned.  There is a train song about looking back on your life at various points, it scares the crap out of me!

2. Having my kids think I am uncool–and them being RIGHT! I have had my ridiculous teen years and many (MANY) disagreements with my parents over the years, but I could never accuse them of being uncool. They aren’t, it’s just a fact. My parents have lived a fantastic life; owned businesses, emigrated, traveled the world, been in jail for protesting human rights, walked in the jungle with lions, had kids, grandkids and danced like fools. They are cool. I want my kids to feel the same way about me, to just know that I have experienced life and can offer them advice from that experience.

So yes I am less than cautious, in love and otherwise. As to the in love part, I have dated some wonderful and not so great people but I can honestly say I don’t regret anyone. I have always learned from the experience. I can honestly say I wouldn’t change a thing. I’ve only really been knocked on my ass one time. It was the kind of thing where you love someone so much you don’t see their faults and would move mountains to be with them. I have learned from that experience how resilient I am and that I definitely want to the movie love kind of love. It’s out there people! I see it in my married friends and parents every day. Sometimes just glimpses and its not all roses but it’s there! So yes i jump in with both feet and if I knew how to dive I’m sure I’d do that too!

I’ve made mistakes and will probably make tons more. I’ve ugly cried and laughed so hard I thought I would throw up. I’ve never stayed in a job I hate, never stayed in a relationship long after it was good just because it was comfortable, I’ve done my dream job, and had one foot in one ocean and the other in another. I’ve done some stupid things that I won’t go into, but I don’t regret them! If anything they are really funny stories! So, I’m going to continue to jump in headfirst and hope that when the time comes I will look back and be content.  

Stupid Celebs

So I got a comment from Mrs. Lilac today saying Mariah Carey got married. Surely not I thought. She could not be that stupid…oh but just you wait. Apparently a clergymen said he married Mariah–aged 39 to NICK CANNON–aged 27! This is the kid that pretty much got his start and finish on Nickelodeon. Mariah Carey was around BEFORE Nickelodeon! That poor kid needs to run for his life. Which I’m sure he will do and set a new record for short marriages. Maybe the turn around can be 24 hours this time! Here’s to hoping!!

This crappy story got me thinking about some of the really stupid stuff celebrities do. It makes me laugh. These people are so predictable, I mean come on at least make it interesting (who am i kidding I watch access Hollywood every day!)!

Such as, Isaiah Washington calling T.R. Knight a fag and then REPEATING it over and over!! I mean for the love of Pete man, learn to shut the hell up!! Because of your verbal diarrhea you lost a job on the number 1 rated TV show and will forever be remembered as a bigot. Good move, asshole!

Another stupid celebrity trick was Britney Spears. I mean I can’t even go into that girls issues. My heart bleeds for her, it must be hard to be a million at the age of 12. That is DEFINITELY an excuse to go cuckoo for cocoa puffs and drag two innocent babies down with you. My heart bleeds for her.  I never thought I would see the day when Kevin Federline was the front runner in a custody battle. I mean he DOES have like 12 kids with 10 different mommas so I’m sure custody battles are old hat to him. He’s beaten the system!!!

Oh wait I forgot my favorite one! Miley Cyrus’s nudey Vanity Fair pics! Come on guys, I don’t care if Annie Lebowitz says its a good idea to strip down your tween and lay her all over Daddy it doesn’t mean go for it! I mean DAMN who’s the parents here? And where the hell was Mom? And HELLO the kid is a damn Disney star. I don’t think Old Walt would have wanted his top money maker made up like a damn street urchin and stripped down to her birthday suit (the blanket does not count in my book)! You sure ain’t Oliver Twist sweet heart! Let’s just say I can overlook the shocking misjudgment of stripping her pre-pubescent ass down (which I can’t), let’s just say they can call the nudey ones “Art” (which they can’t). How about the ones when she is sprawled all over Billy Ray??  I’m 25 and it’s safe to say I have never laid on my dad like that. Not for the sake of art or anything. There are lines people, you especially aren’t allowed to cross them with children in the car!! I think it’s time for Mom and Pops Cyrus to start to see their daughter instead of a giant paycheck with braces.

As an aside here, I seriously think Annie Lebowitz needs some therapy..Who sees a kid and her dad and immediately thinks “Let’s get naked!”

 

 

As I sit and think about all the stupid shit celebrities do on a daily basis it just makes me glad to be me! Not that i don’t do stupid stuff on a daily basis but at least no one is taping it!

What are your favorite celebrity screw ups??

 

Grey’s Is Back Baby!!

Guys I never thought it would happen! Grey’s Anatomy is BACK!! I’m so happy I have no words…ok we all know that isn’t true. I have plenty of words, if you don’t want the show majorly ruined I would stop reading right now cause I am about the spoil the shit out of it!

Ok so I am SO happy that this whole Izzy/George cheating whores, bad sex debacle is over! That was just stupid. I mean like Izzy, who could have anyone and HELLO had Denny would

A. Hookup (sidenote: my mom used the phrase hooked up tonight. HA!) with George

 B. Sleep with a married man. Meredith and Addison play cheating whore way better.

I actually teared up this week when George and Izzy were talking in the hallway and he said he always looks around to see if she thought the same thing was funny like he did. GUYS, be BEST FRIENDS again! I understand they need to get there and all that but damn they are so good. What the hell were you thinking Shonda, hooking them up?? BAD CALL! Especially after you made us fall hook line and sinker in love with Denny. (Who by the way I still love, and seriously ugly cry every time I even THINK about that dying scene or hear the Chasing Cars song. Here see for yourself (you are dead on the inside if you don’t cry)

Damn I watched it. Hold on while I compose myself. Who am I kidding, this could take awhile. Talk amongst yourselves.

Now moving on the Christina, I love her, always have always will. She is awesome. I love tonight that she had to practice talking “girl”. I totally relate to that, I can’t talk ”girl” either.  She never really annoyed me, just the fact that Burke LEFT her at the altar. SERIOUSLY, after all that shit, and HELLO asshole she didn’t even want a wedding! Maybe if Isaiah Washington could keep his damn mouth shut they could have kept the character. I will admit there is a hole in the show without Preston. I love how today Christina said to Hahn, “Is it because I’m Asian?” bahahah..yeah kid its a race thing, Hahn is just in love with the most overtly ethnic person on the show, Callie.

And about Callie, I like her so much more now that she is not simperingly in love with George (seriously George?!?!?). I wish she had punched Izzy’s face in for cheating though. I think this whole Hahn is a lesbian thing is AWESOME! I laughed out loud tonight when Callie asked Meredith and Christina if anyone thought they were Lesbians and Meredith says “No cause we are whores who drink tequila and sleep with boys” (this isn’t he exact quote I couldn’t find it). HILARIOUS, cause they ARE drunken whores and I love that they know it!

Sloan thinking and saying he is God is awesome. And his face when he saw Derek, Meredith, Addison and Rose in the elevator was too good. Another laugh out loud moment. I wish he would have said “I had him first girls!”. Derek is totally his heterosexual life partner.

I love love love that Meredith is in therapy, DAMN if anyone needs it, it is that girl. She and Lexie should get a discount rate to deal with all their family shit. Now work Mer out and make her propose to Derek! And let them be HAPPY for five freaking minutes!

And how about Rebecca’s lying tramp ass. Pregnant, WHATEVER! Believe me girl Alex is not the type to be trapped. It won’t be pretty.

Thank God Grey’s is BACK! I never thought they could right all the amazing wrongs of last season, I really thought I would hate it forever for ruining all my favorite characters! I’m not going to lie i wrote a letter to Shonda after that shithole season finale of last year. I like to think she listened.

Atticus Update

As I type Atticus is alternately attacking his new chicken toy and chasing his own tail. He got SO big in the three days I was away! I can’t believe it!

I thought I would post some new pics of the little guy.

 

Behavior update: Atticus is doing great! He is totally fine with the crate, actually likes it (and I didn’t believe the vet!) and his accidents are few and far between. He actually sits by the door and whines now! Amazing, dogs are so smart! The vet said Australian Shepard’s (that’s what his momma is) are really smart. But I think 2 weeks is pretty incredible (I might be a scoche biased)! (HUGE sigh of relief inserted here.

HO-LY SHIT! As I’m typing Atticus just walked in to the bedroom and lay down in the crate!! He’s a genius!

I’m Home!!!

I’m back! Sorry to have been AWOL for awhile guys. I have been so busy with the pup, the school, and I was in Austin for the week. BUT I’m finally home THANK GOD!

I’ve always been a traveler. Leaving for days, months even a year at times inspired nothing but sheer excitement and glee! Well,  I don’t know if I’m getting old, settled or what; but I was not excited to leave. I was worried about the dog, leaving Mae to care for him herself and I just plain didn’t want to go. I’m happy here, I have my little routine and I guess I’m stuck in it.

I got to Austin and was confronted with some really really great informative (I was at a work conference) people, some not so friendly people, and some downright mean people. This was three days of makeup (which I never wear), high heels (ditto), meetings, information, information, information. The conference part was great. All the information and these people really know how to revive and regenerate you!

This is the seriously abbreviated version of the events of this trip. I will just say this, I am extremely grateful for my friends and family. I think that people take seeing a friendly face and knowing that someone loves you for granted too much. This trip was exhausting.

So since I was reminded how great friends are I am going to thank some of mine!

Firstly, my business partner. She is not only a great business partner, she is a great employer, friend and an downright good person. I know all this because in addition to being my business partner she has been my boss for 5 years and my friend for longer. She conducts herself in a honest, upbeat manner and is truly grateful for everything in her life. This is not very common, she is happy to be alive each and every day. I could not have asked for a better partner. She is everything I am not and (I hope) vice versa. She is able to rise above and see the good when I am mired down in anger and resentment. She has great ideas every day and I can’t wait to implement some of them!!

I am also so happy to have Mae as my friend. Mae is always there for me and has been since I have known her. She takes a genuine interest in my life (let’s be honest, it’s not that interesting!!). and is always there to take my side. A lot of the time, side taking is underated. Sometimes all you need is someone (right or wrong) to be just as mad as you are whether you are justified or not. We are so alike, we have a code, sometimes we don’t even say a word and can fall on the floor laughing at the exact same thing. Isn’t that the best!!

Tipp is next. She is my (and all her friends) biggest champion. I know I can call her at any time of the day and no matter what she will be there in a heartbeat. If you follow her blog you know she just took in a pregnant cat (she already has two dogs, one of which is a rescue–she ran on the interstate to save her–but that’s a WHOLE other story) because she could not stand to see the cat harmed. Tipp goes out of her way on a daily basis for anyone in need, especially her friends. Tipp is someone who I look to for guidance, a kind of a moral compass.

J is also on this list. I wish I saw her more! J always lend a listening ear and helps in any way she can. And with everything going on in her life that is HUGE!! J is an amazing sister, daughter and wife. She puts herself after everyone in her family on a daily basis. I could not be happier to include her in my list.

I’m including Mrs. Lilac in this. She is a new friend but nonetheless a great one. I met her beautiful, smart daughter and adorable sons today. She is so lucky! Her daughter is now my dogs surrogate mommy and best friend. Mrs. Lilac is smart and giving. She was the catalyst in rescuing Cinderella (the pregnant Kitty). If you have not read Mrs. Lilac’s blog about teaching her children to value and protect all life you should! Mrs. Lilac always has a sunny disposition and positive attitude. Not to mention Mae and I are constantly amazed that she knows as much useless celebrity info as we do!

 

So after my ridiculous week I am so glad to have these people as well as my incredible family (including Atticus!) to come home to! It’s nice to know not everyone is plotting your demise!!

 

I love you guys!!!

 

Sidenote, Atticus is FINALLY making some headway on the potty training (after Mae found his “toilet” aka behind her couch! YUCK!)

I’ve Been Robbed!!

Jake Gyllenhaal STOLE our dog’s name! His German Shepard mix is named Atticus Finch!!

I am convinced he stole it from us. I mean come on who else would be so creative!?!?!?!?

Virgin

Yup, it’s me. I’m the virgin. Puppy virgin that is. Let me tell you puppies are HARD WORK. I went into this endeavour all naive and bushy tailed. Ready to have the most trained dog on the block. He was going to be so much fun, Mae would have some company, where was the downside??

While Atticus is seriously the cutest thing on earth he can also be a big pain. Everyone who is awwing right now and thinking I am really mean has obviously never had a puppy!

We got Atticus on Sunday, he was so good. Charmed my three year niece, he was so sweet with her, just slept on her lap and let her pet him non to gently. He played with my nephew and charmed Mae when she got home from Indiana.

THEN it started. Monday he was with me all day. He cried and barked if I left him side. He refused to walk making me carry him everywhere (I realize he was sad about leaving his mom and all that but DAMN). Monday I put him in the crate for the first time and he was GREAT! He slept in the damn thing for like an hour. I thought I was home free! However, my naive ass didn’t realize I was sitting right beside him of course he was aces, he knew I was there! Well, Mae gets home and we test him in the crate in the other room. It was MAYHEM! Picture the scene in Lady and the Tramp when they are barking about the rat. I swear to god I thought this dog was going to blow out his vocal cords. Mae and I sat in her living room staring at each other in horror. Mae lives in an apartment and we had already agreed that if she got a noise complaint Atticus would have to find a new home. Finally he calmed down and I went home. Seriously relieve to get away, however I had nightmares that he was in the bed with me and I was smothering him all freaking night.

Fast forward to Friday. After a week of shitting on the carpet (he hasn’t done that in a few days, Pissing everywhere he pleases (he still does that), crying in the crate (he is over that, thank god!), and waking Mae up every hour (we are hoping this will stop ASAP!). We were done. Mae calls me at about 7 and tells me that when he woke her up at 5:30 she burst into tears. I’m pretty sure it was the ugly cry and I don’t blame her, she had worked about 50 hours that week and born the brunt of his hourly potty breaks.

I was distraught, how could I let this dog ruin my friends life! And on top of that Atticus seemed miserable, he moped around all day, never played, hated walks and was only happy with other dogs. I felt so bad for him. He was miserable, we were miserable. I spent the whole morning thinking about it. I am not going to lie, I cried from sheer exhaustion as well. There was just too much going on last week; exams, Cruella had reared her ugly perfectly coiffed head again, and on top of all that the dog was majorly time consuming. I was spending 3 or 4 hours a day trying to train him. Mae was putting in about as much time at night.

Then I went to the vet. Man let me tell you the vet did some MEAN things to my poor pup. I felt so bad for him, but I asked about a million question. Why was he so lazy? Was he sad? How much should I feed him? What is he?? When will he SLEEP? The vet was awesome and answered everything for me. Apparently our little Atticus had worms and that had a lot to do with his disposition and sleeping problems.

Atticus has perked up in the last few days, I’m pretty sure he is getting used to our crazy schedules. He is acting more like a puppy and not having as many accidents. We have pretty much beaten the crate. Now he just needs to sleep through the night, so we can save Mae’s sanity.

Atticus is currently sleeping across my shoes with his water bottle in between his paws. So Cute! Forget everything I said puppies are great. Wait, he just peed on the carpet, DAMNIT!

Things I have learned

I never knew how much it is possible to care when and how much a dog shits

Dogs can get depressed

Dogs are really really smart and can sense your mood (he knew he was on the chopping block Friday and was sweet as pie)

You can learn exactly what your dog looks like right before he pisses on the carpet and stop him in time.

Vets check to see if your dogs testicles have dropped (YOWCH!)

A water bottle is a lot more fun than the $100 dollars worth of toys you just bought (Damnit)

Everything needs time and patience, especially dogs

PUPPIES ARE HARD–Get one that is crate and potty trained and save yourself a HUGE headache.

 

Totally random note–I’m watching Somewhere in Time with Christopher Reeves and Jane Seymour. Anyone seen it? I absolutely love this movie! I am crying in anticpation of how sad it is!

 

Interviews

I saw this cool thing on Tipp’s page. They are interviewing 50 bloggers in 50 states. Sounds cool! I’m doing it. Check it out!

 

This just because it makes me laugh.