Random Rants and Thoughts

• The girl at my local Mexican restaurant seems to have been pregnant for about two years.

 

• Free bang cuts are the best. I think everyone should offer them.

 

• I have a really hard time not reprimanding children out in public. Especially when they are kicking another kid in the face whilst bouncing around on the bench i am currently sitting on causing me to be seasick. Hello??? Should your kid EVER be running around a restaurant unattended? Ever heard of kidnappers? Or social etiquette?

 

• On the kid note, 9 year olds with ipods nicer than mine, dancing like a ghetto superstar singing apple bottom jeans (She turned around and gave that big booty a smack ,shorty got low, low, low, low) annoy the shit out of me. Once more, where are these kids parents? Oh wait they are being raised by a nanny (I know, I am one)

 

• When I tell people I am a nanny and they laugh and wink at me suggestively I want to punch them in the face. What moron came up with this sick fantasy?

 

• How is it possible that Daniel Day Lewis has never made a bad movie. Please watch There Will Be Blood, or Gangs of New York or Last of the Mohicans. FAN-tastic.

 

• I think some mothers name their kids when they are still doped up after birth..Jagger Joseph Blue (a GIRL), Moxy Crimefighter, Apple etc… Do people not realize kids are going to kick the shit out of your kid on a daily basis? Invest in self-defense lessons please, EARLY.

 

• Randy Pausch makes me cry so hard I can’t see and/or breathe. I wish I had his outlook on life.  He’s amazing.

 

• I dated a guy for a LONG time who was skinnier than me. I mean could wear my pants kind of skinny, I wonder why it didn’t make me more depressed.

 

• I think it is really funny when people refer to lower back tattoos as tramp stamps or a target.

 

• I love Vince Vaughn.

 

• Allergies suck. Bad.

 

• I have the best friends in the world.

 

• It made my day when I realized Tipp left her sour patch kids at my house. Is that bad?

 

• Do men think that if they frequently have fits of rage it makes them more manly and thus more attractive? Word to the wise, reign in the crazy people!!! It’s not cute or manly and makes me want to make you cry like a little girl.