Ugly Cry

As I was perusing the movie story today I saw P.S. I love you. Probably one of the saddest movies I have seen in my life. Mae and I saw this Hilary Swank, Gerrard Butler movie in the theatre. Bad Move. We left looking like we had just been in a fight with a mascara wand and lost…badly. This was seriously NOT cute, ugly cry to the 100th degree.

However, sometimes a good, ugly, snotty movie cry is just what you need. I started thinking about movies that make me weep like a fawn no matter how many times I’ve seen them. I am a huge fan of the movie cry, it’s so much better than the real life cry because you aren’t really sad, just lost in the story.

So in case any of you are in the need for a nice weeping sob fest here are some of my favorite sad movies.

1.  Terms of Endearment. This is THE sad movie of all time. It stars Shirley Maclaineand Debra Winger as mother and daughter. This movie came out in 1983 but has lost none of its relevance. Let me set the scene for you..Debra Winger has three children with a real asshole husband (Jeff Daniels) she has terminal cancer and is in the last stages. Her mother Shirley Maclaineis taking care of Debra, the kids and dealing with the husband. There is a scene in the hospital where Shirley Maclaineruns around the nurses station screaming “My daughters in pain, she needs her pills, get my daughter her pills!!”.This might be the most heartbreaking moment in cinematic history. And we still have deathand custody of the children to deal with!

2. The Notebook. The undisputed best love story of all time. Allie and Noah. You’re a bird, I’m a bird. Life-long love. Die at the same time cause they can’t live without each other. WOAH. GOOD MOVIE! This movie is great because it spans these people’s entire lives, it invests you in them. Too often there are movies where the people meet in one day and love each other madly. This does not ring true. Noah waited 14 years for Allie, then spent his entire life making her happy and moved away from his home to be with her. It doesn’t get much better than that. This movie is what I think every women on earth secretly yearns for. And if they say differently they are lying to you!

3. Steel Magnolias. Sally Field is the best freaker outter in the history of the universe. When she screams “I was supposed to go first, I was ready to go first” It rips your heart out and stomps on it. Add Julia Roberts, Dolly Parton, Shirley Maclaine (she’s a common theme in this post), and Olympia Dukakis and you have got an all star cast, ready to make you cry so hard you throw up. This movie is not only sad it is funny, has great lines and has a great message. The whole package. Some of the aforementioned great lines–

“Laughter through tears is my favorite emotion”

“If you don’t have anything nice to say..come sit by me!”

“You know I love you more than my luggage”

“I’m not mean, I’ve just been in a very bad mood for 40 years!”

4. Rent. This is lesser known than the others and a musical so you might not have seen it. If not, you NEED to!!! This movie has the most fantastic music of all time. The music makes this movie. The subject matter is touchy and might turn some people off, but it teaches empathy and understanding for people that are not necessarily like you but have feelings and problems nonetheless. This story is about a group of friends living in NYC in the late 80s-early 90s. Most of them are HIV positive and they are all poverty stricken. When Angel dies and the group is fighting at his funeral it is all I can do not to throw up from crying so hard. This movie feels more real than the others on the list and I am partial to musicals so that could have to do with my attachment to it. And of course my friends and I are total Rentheads (15 years too late..ah well!)

5. Lastly, I am putting When a Man Loves a Woman. This has Meg Ryan and Andy Garcia. Two of the cutest kids on the face of the earth played their children, Mae Whitman and Tina Majorino. These children make this movie. Quick background for you, Meg Ryan is an alcoholic, it is about how they deal with it and all the underlying issues that go with alcoholism. These children abslutely break your heart a million times in this movie. There is a scene where Andy Garcia has given up and is moving, he goes to tell the older girl (who isn’t his, he adopted her) he’s leaving and she asks him since she’s not his real kid will he still come visit her…Sweet lord, I’m tearing up just thinking about it. This movie is poignant and has exceptional acting. Andy and Meg are both fantastic and the kids, of course, steal the show.

 

Go to the movie store right now and get some of these, or queue em up baby!! But be sure to get the tissues, it’s gonna get ugly!

 

Did I miss any really great sad ones?

Stupid Celebs

So I got a comment from Mrs. Lilac today saying Mariah Carey got married. Surely not I thought. She could not be that stupid…oh but just you wait. Apparently a clergymen said he married Mariah–aged 39 to NICK CANNON–aged 27! This is the kid that pretty much got his start and finish on Nickelodeon. Mariah Carey was around BEFORE Nickelodeon! That poor kid needs to run for his life. Which I’m sure he will do and set a new record for short marriages. Maybe the turn around can be 24 hours this time! Here’s to hoping!!

This crappy story got me thinking about some of the really stupid stuff celebrities do. It makes me laugh. These people are so predictable, I mean come on at least make it interesting (who am i kidding I watch access Hollywood every day!)!

Such as, Isaiah Washington calling T.R. Knight a fag and then REPEATING it over and over!! I mean for the love of Pete man, learn to shut the hell up!! Because of your verbal diarrhea you lost a job on the number 1 rated TV show and will forever be remembered as a bigot. Good move, asshole!

Another stupid celebrity trick was Britney Spears. I mean I can’t even go into that girls issues. My heart bleeds for her, it must be hard to be a million at the age of 12. That is DEFINITELY an excuse to go cuckoo for cocoa puffs and drag two innocent babies down with you. My heart bleeds for her.  I never thought I would see the day when Kevin Federline was the front runner in a custody battle. I mean he DOES have like 12 kids with 10 different mommas so I’m sure custody battles are old hat to him. He’s beaten the system!!!

Oh wait I forgot my favorite one! Miley Cyrus’s nudey Vanity Fair pics! Come on guys, I don’t care if Annie Lebowitz says its a good idea to strip down your tween and lay her all over Daddy it doesn’t mean go for it! I mean DAMN who’s the parents here? And where the hell was Mom? And HELLO the kid is a damn Disney star. I don’t think Old Walt would have wanted his top money maker made up like a damn street urchin and stripped down to her birthday suit (the blanket does not count in my book)! You sure ain’t Oliver Twist sweet heart! Let’s just say I can overlook the shocking misjudgment of stripping her pre-pubescent ass down (which I can’t), let’s just say they can call the nudey ones “Art” (which they can’t). How about the ones when she is sprawled all over Billy Ray??  I’m 25 and it’s safe to say I have never laid on my dad like that. Not for the sake of art or anything. There are lines people, you especially aren’t allowed to cross them with children in the car!! I think it’s time for Mom and Pops Cyrus to start to see their daughter instead of a giant paycheck with braces.

As an aside here, I seriously think Annie Lebowitz needs some therapy..Who sees a kid and her dad and immediately thinks “Let’s get naked!”

 

 

As I sit and think about all the stupid shit celebrities do on a daily basis it just makes me glad to be me! Not that i don’t do stupid stuff on a daily basis but at least no one is taping it!

What are your favorite celebrity screw ups??

 

Help Me!

I need help. I signed up for Blockbusters version of Netflix a few months ago–I paid $9 to rent two movies and with this plan I get unlimited movies for $11 a month! No Brainer!–

Don’t get me wrong I saw some awesome movies for the first month or two,

Gone Baby Gone–heartbreaking and excellent, Casey Affleck is my new favorite actor.

Enchanted–SO SO cute!

Dan in Real Life–ahhh Steve

Elizabeth–Cate Blanchett, best freaker outer in the history or losing it!

However, I have been treated to a string of unadulterated crap crap crap for the past couple of weeks. Last night took the cake, I watched about 2/3’s of a movie about these sick bastards that sell young girls in the sex slave trade in Mexico. Seriously disturbing, and not even good. I expect more of you Kevin (Kline that is)! I mean come on man you were in A Fish Called Wanda!!!

Please send me your suggestions! I’ve resorted to getting Lions for Lambs (if it’s not Far and Away, I’m not interested Tom). Send me anything, old, new, funny, sad..just as long as it is GOOD!

I’m Desperate!

 

                                                                

 

Still More Random Thoughts..

 

More random thoughts. Sorry guys, it is a distinct possiblity that I am just a very random person.

 

• You know you are a grown up when your mom buys you a case of your favorite beer.

 

• You know you are a cheap ass when a case of your favorite beer only costs 10 bucks! Yuengling kids..you know you were wondering…

 

• I love that Mrs. Lilac  knows as much useless celebrity gossip as Mae and I. Its hard to do guys, hard to do.

 

• I love Tipp for bringing Mrs. Lilac into our lives.

 

• Isn’t Schweenie the cutest dog breed you have ever heard? 1/2 Daschund 1/2 Shih Tzu

 

• I want to name my dog Schweenie

 

• Schweenie is my sister and nieces nickname.

 

• There Will Be Blood was a MAJOR disappointment

 

• Daniel Day is still an incredible actor.

 

• I almost cried when I stuck Ziggy back into his cage today. NOT like me.

 

• Juno is funny. 

Juno: Your shorts looks especially gold today

Bleeker: Thanks my mom uses color safe bleach

Juno: Go Carol.

 

• I kind of love Bleeker. A lot.

 

• I hate it when people make alot one word.

 

• What does “I like to have never mean”?? 

 

• Can you believe Boy George in The Wedding Singer is

A. An Arquette (i.e. Patricia, Rosanna, David)

B. A women now?? Woah…

 

• Please tell me you have heard the pregnant man story?? WOW.

 

 

 

Denny and other random TV thoughts

Ok this is for the Grey’s Anatomy fans out there.

Jeffrey Dean Morgan aka Denny aka The hot Irishman in P.S. I love you aka Hottie Mchottness has broken up with his fiancee Mary Louise Parker aka Nancy on Weeds aka Boys on the side aka a LOON…

So there is a chance! I just need to find a way to meet him and then I’m fairly positive I will be living out my own little Grey’s Anatomy fantasy where he and Patrick Dempsey fight over me and I look like Katherine Heigel and am allowed to act like Christina Yang.

 

Also, Brother and Sisters is BACK on April 20!! I can’t wait! I love every character in this show, except Tommy who is clearly a cheating, manipulative pig but I digress. I can’t wait to find out that Rebecca is not really a Walker and see those writers try to make her date Justin..Word to the writers, NEVER let people who once thought they were siblings have sex. They try it on soaps all the time and it never flies..its icky.

I also love David Archleta on Idols. That kid (and yes I mean kid, he’s only 17) has the voice of an angel. And just happened to sing one of my favorite Robbie William’s (if you don’t know who that is, I’m sad for you) songs called Angels. Here is the video..

 

 

Speaking of TV does anyone know when Heroes is coming back? If I could be any one of those characters I would have to be Nathan and Peters mom. The power of persuasion is just too good. The possibilites are endless!  What power would you want?

 

I also beat out a man that was at least 80 for the last copy of There Will be Blood today..too slow Grampie! Maybe next time.

Kite Runner

I just watched the movie version of the Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini. I loved the book when I read it the first time. Khaled Hosseini is a hauntingly beautiful writer and the story is absolutely heartbreaking. The subject matter of this book is not pretty and Hosseini doesn’t try to make it so. He showed the reader the good the bad and the ugly. He let you see that sometimes you have to risk the ugly to give someone else a little bit of the good. He also shows that sometimes being a witness is just as bad as being the wrongdoer. I did not cry when I read this book, I think there are some things that are too big to cry about. Sitting in my nice home in my free country without a real struggle to my name it just feels trivial to weep at what these people live in and with every day.

That said; this movie was good not great. This movie did not live up to the caliber of the book. I felt they left out pertinent information, such as the fact that Hassan had a cleft palate and Ali had a leg that was rendered useless from Polio. I felt these little additions to the story were what made the story what it was.

This story was not only about Amir’s betrayal of Hasaan but also about the class system that was in place in Afghanistan during this time. The children taunting Ali in the street because of his disability and ethnicity were major parts of setting the story for me. I missed these details in the movie.

The movie also left out Sohrab’s struggle with what was done to him, his attempted suicide and the struggle to get him out of Afghanistan. The movie jumped right from Amir rediscovering his faith to the men arriving in sunny California. Sohrab’s story was really not told, save for a 2 minute scene in a stairwell. This movie also did not tell the story of all the orphans left in Afghanistan because of the laws about adoption and the red tape involved in helping these children. Once again making the story solely about Amir and Hassan and not about Afghanistan and the struggles the country as a whole has had.

I did enjoy the movie, but am glad I also read the book. I highly recommend the book BEFORE the movie!