Telephone headsets make me laugh..Hard. I want to sing Madonna songs whenever I see someone wearing them. Bluetooth is pretty much the same story, I laugh really hard when people wear them. Most of the time they see me laughing at them, oops. But seriously bluetooth..come on.
Ugly Betty is about 28 and still has braces. Hey ABC, no one has braces for 5 years, I think its time to let her get them off. Evolve the character people.
I could not have loved it more when Bailey told the nurses on Grey’s to close their legs and stop having sex with Sloan. Those nurses are whores, quit sleeping around and concentrate on your job bitches!! And Sloan?? Seriously, you’re trying to tell me it shocked them he was sleeping around??!!? I guess that’s why they aren’t Doctors, not so smart. (sorry if anyone is a nurse out there! Love you!)
I think my dog has Pica. He ate about a pound of sand today, isn’t that weird? I’m pretty sure I’ll be dealing with doggy diarrhea in about 3 hours. Not the smartest dog on earth.
I forgot what it’s like to be so happy you actually can’t think of anything to bitch about. I’m not sure I’ve ever been this happy. If you know me you know it’s big if I can’t find something to be sarcastic about!
My dog’s favorite toys are some knitting and his brush…I think he’s gay. Maybe it’s because he has two mommies. It’s ok I accept him just as he is, don’t worry.
Angelina Jolie’s having twins. I really hate that tramp, but still kind of wish she lived in Nashville and needed childcare, she would keep my school open with her 48 children. Imagine the diapers those people buy, they will have 4 children (possibly 5) in diapers. I think she uses anti-birth control.
Tipp’s post on 15 parenting tips is hilarious. I think it is hilarious how many people just wing parenting. READ A BOOK PEOPLE! DAMN! If your 8 year old sleeps in your bed, still takes a bottle and breast feeds you are a failure. Plain and Simple.
I tried out for Wheel Of Fortune one time. I didn’t make it…damnit. I would kick that shows ass. I’m a puzzle solving fool!
So I got a comment from Mrs. Lilac today saying Mariah Carey got married. Surely not I thought. She could not be that stupid…oh but just you wait. Apparently a clergymen said he married Mariah–aged 39 to NICK CANNON–aged 27! This is the kid that pretty much got his start and finish on Nickelodeon. Mariah Carey was around BEFORE Nickelodeon! That poor kid needs to run for his life. Which I’m sure he will do and set a new record for short marriages. Maybe the turn around can be 24 hours this time! Here’s to hoping!!
This crappy story got me thinking about some of the really stupid stuff celebrities do. It makes me laugh. These people are so predictable, I mean come on at least make it interesting (who am i kidding I watch access Hollywood every day!)!
Such as, Isaiah Washington calling T.R. Knight a fag and then REPEATING it over and over!! I mean for the love of Pete man, learn to shut the hell up!! Because of your verbal diarrhea you lost a job on the number 1 rated TV show and will forever be remembered as a bigot. Good move, asshole!
Another stupid celebrity trick was Britney Spears. I mean I can’t even go into that girls issues. My heart bleeds for her, it must be hard to be a million at the age of 12. That is DEFINITELY an excuse to go cuckoo for cocoa puffs and drag two innocent babies down with you. My heart bleeds for her. I never thought I would see the day when Kevin Federline was the front runner in a custody battle. I mean he DOES have like 12 kids with 10 different mommas so I’m sure custody battles are old hat to him. He’s beaten the system!!!
Oh wait I forgot my favorite one! Miley Cyrus’s nudey Vanity Fair pics! Come on guys, I don’t care if Annie Lebowitz says its a good idea to strip down your tween and lay her all over Daddy it doesn’t mean go for it! I mean DAMN who’s the parents here? And where the hell was Mom? And HELLO the kid is a damn Disney star. I don’t think Old Walt would have wanted his top money maker made up like a damn street urchin and stripped down to her birthday suit (the blanket does not count in my book)! You sure ain’t Oliver Twist sweet heart! Let’s just say I can overlook the shocking misjudgment of stripping her pre-pubescent ass down (which I can’t), let’s just say they can call the nudey ones “Art” (which they can’t). How about the ones when she is sprawled all over Billy Ray?? I’m 25 and it’s safe to say I have never laid on my dad like that. Not for the sake of art or anything. There are lines people, you especially aren’t allowed to cross them with children in the car!! I think it’s time for Mom and Pops Cyrus to start to see their daughter instead of a giant paycheck with braces.
As an aside here, I seriously think Annie Lebowitz needs some therapy..Who sees a kid and her dad and immediately thinks “Let’s get naked!”
As I sit and think about all the stupid shit celebrities do on a daily basis it just makes me glad to be me! Not that i don’t do stupid stuff on a daily basis but at least no one is taping it!
Guys I never thought it would happen! Grey’s Anatomy is BACK!! I’m so happy I have no words…ok we all know that isn’t true. I have plenty of words, if you don’t want the show majorly ruined I would stop reading right now cause I am about the spoil the shit out of it!
Ok so I am SO happy that this whole Izzy/George cheating whores, bad sex debacle is over! That was just stupid. I mean like Izzy, who could have anyone and HELLO had Denny would
A. Hookup (sidenote: my mom used the phrase hooked up tonight. HA!) with George
B. Sleep with a married man. Meredith and Addison play cheating whore way better.
I actually teared up this week when George and Izzy were talking in the hallway and he said he always looks around to see if she thought the same thing was funny like he did. GUYS, be BEST FRIENDS again! I understand they need to get there and all that but damn they are so good. What the hell were you thinking Shonda, hooking them up?? BAD CALL! Especially after you made us fall hook line and sinker in love with Denny. (Who by the way I still love, and seriously ugly cry every time I even THINK about that dying scene or hear the Chasing Cars song. Here see for yourself (you are dead on the inside if you don’t cry)
Damn I watched it. Hold on while I compose myself. Who am I kidding, this could take awhile. Talk amongst yourselves.
Now moving on the Christina, I love her, always have always will. She is awesome. I love tonight that she had to practice talking “girl”. I totally relate to that, I can’t talk ”girl” either. She never really annoyed me, just the fact that Burke LEFT her at the altar. SERIOUSLY, after all that shit, and HELLO asshole she didn’t even want a wedding! Maybe if Isaiah Washington could keep his damn mouth shut they could have kept the character. I will admit there is a hole in the show without Preston. I love how today Christina said to Hahn, “Is it because I’m Asian?” bahahah..yeah kid its a race thing, Hahn is just in love with the most overtly ethnic person on the show, Callie.
And about Callie, I like her so much more now that she is not simperingly in love with George (seriously George?!?!?). I wish she had punched Izzy’s face in for cheating though. I think this whole Hahn is a lesbian thing is AWESOME! I laughed out loud tonight when Callie asked Meredith and Christina if anyone thought they were Lesbians and Meredith says “No cause we are whores who drink tequila and sleep with boys” (this isn’t he exact quote I couldn’t find it). HILARIOUS, cause they ARE drunken whores and I love that they know it!
Sloan thinking and saying he is God is awesome. And his face when he saw Derek, Meredith, Addison and Rose in the elevator was too good. Another laugh out loud moment. I wish he would have said “I had him first girls!”. Derek is totally his heterosexual life partner.
I love love love that Meredith is in therapy, DAMN if anyone needs it, it is that girl. She and Lexie should get a discount rate to deal with all their family shit. Now work Mer out and make her propose to Derek! And let them be HAPPY for five freaking minutes!
And how about Rebecca’s lying tramp ass. Pregnant, WHATEVER! Believe me girl Alex is not the type to be trapped. It won’t be pretty.
Thank God Grey’s is BACK! I never thought they could right all the amazing wrongs of last season, I really thought I would hate it forever for ruining all my favorite characters! I’m not going to lie i wrote a letter to Shonda after that shithole season finale of last year. I like to think she listened.
The girl at my local Mexican restaurant seems to have been pregnant for about two years.
Free bang cuts are the best. I think everyone should offer them.
I have a really hard time not reprimanding children out in public. Especially when they are kicking another kid in the face whilst bouncing around on the bench i am currently sitting on causing me to be seasick. Hello??? Should your kid EVER be running around a restaurant unattended? Ever heard of kidnappers? Or social etiquette?
On the kid note, 9 year olds with ipods nicer than mine, dancing like a ghetto superstar singing apple bottom jeans (She turned around and gave that big booty a smack ,shorty got low, low, low, low) annoy the shit out of me. Once more, where are these kids parents? Oh wait they are being raised by a nanny (I know, I am one)
When I tell people I am a nanny and they laugh and wink at me suggestively I want to punch them in the face. What moron came up with this sick fantasy?
How is it possible that Daniel Day Lewis has never made a bad movie. Please watch There Will Be Blood, or Gangs of New York or Last of the Mohicans. FAN-tastic.
I think some mothers name their kids when they are still doped up after birth..Jagger Joseph Blue (a GIRL), Moxy Crimefighter, Apple etc… Do people not realize kids are going to kick the shit out of your kid on a daily basis? Invest in self-defense lessons please, EARLY.
Randy Pausch makes me cry so hard I can’t see and/or breathe. I wish I had his outlook on life. He’s amazing.
I dated a guy for a LONG time who was skinnier than me. I mean could wear my pants kind of skinny, I wonder why it didn’t make me more depressed.
I think it is really funny when people refer to lower back tattoos as tramp stamps or a target.
I love Vince Vaughn.
Allergies suck. Bad.
I have the best friends in the world.
It made my day when I realized Tipp left her sour patch kids at my house. Is that bad?
Do men think that if they frequently have fits of rage it makes them more manly and thus more attractive? Word to the wise, reign in the crazy people!!! It’s not cute or manly and makes me want to make you cry like a little girl.
Rosy
