But I digress. Mae is working late so I decided to go hang with Atticus for a little while. After the best 11 minute ab workout on earth–Slim in 6, kicks my ass every time–Atticus and I head out for a walk. I figured I would get crazy and walk with the pup to a nearby park. We usually just walk around Mae’s complex a few times so this was big stuff for Atticus.

We set off. Mae lives on a main road so we are walking on a tiny little sidewalk with SVU’s whizzing by, causing me to have minor strokes every time the dog moves for fear he will dart into oncoming traffic.

Just as we walk out of death alley and onto a slightly larger stretch of sidewalk a old, crazy white man clad in only a wife beater and pants 17 sizes too big who is surely a clan member starts yelling obscenities at me. Well my fantastic super-dog Atticus AKA. Wolverine starts barking and growling at this old man (we’ll call him Forrest). I seriously thought my little 14.3 pound dog was going to hurdle the fence and rip Forrest’s Nazi flag tattoo right off his arm. Now Atticus loves strangers and always runs right to them. So for him to lose it on Forrest was a big deal. What a good dog! I think he’s a genius!

So we carry on walking to the park. With me picking the dog up and darting across the main road with visions of Frogger in my mind. I kept picturing those huge tractor trailers that flatten that little guy. We finally make it into the park and discover how much better this place is on foot than in a car. It’s called Ellington Agricultural Center, if you live in Nashville check out all the walking trails. After we explore a few trails and Atticus is dying of thirst (I didn’t bring him any water, yes I’m a bad dog owner) we find a river.

Atticus loved this river, he dug up things and ran like a crazy dog for about 40 minutes. I’ve never seen that lazy dog so excited. It was so cute. He and I were, sweaty, covered in mud and river water and I’m sure we looked like hobos or 12 year old kids after a long day.

Atticus was still so excited on the walk home that he practically ran. Since we had gone so slow on the way there I thought we would jog back. So as we are jogging Atticus decides he is going to dive headfirst into a stream that runs alongside the road. He completely immerses himself in the muddy water then leaps into my arms from fright. It looked to funny I collapsed on the side of the road in tears from laughter. So at this points we are sweaty, covered in mud, river water AND grass, out of breathe, and crying with laughter. 

We finally make it home. I know Mae will be seriously irate if she comes home to a nasty, wet, smelly dog. So I know the only option is to bath this poor exhausted creature. I wrestle him into the tub and proceed to get even more wet and stinky (is that possible at this point??) bathing him. I feed the poor animal and he practically kissed me for putting him back in his crate. I am sure he is FAST asleep as I type.

I then get into my car and immediately realize that I am that smell. It’s never good when you can smell yourself! After a freezing cold shower I am thouroughly exhausted and happy. 

What a Nashville day!!!!  

Ed. Note- Sorry guys I had video’s but I can’t figure it out just now!

I just read a post by my good friend and great blogger Mrs. Lilac about this person and it inspired me to say my piece about him.

So I am writing about something completely unrelated to my life at the moment. Randy Pausch. This man is a good example for the love and hate filled people out there. 

I think I would think he was a great inspiration even if he didn’t have terminal cancer and six months to live. This man’s LIFE is the great inspiration. He has attempted and attained most if not all of the goals he set out to; become an imagineer, find the love of his life, and a myriad of other things. 

Pausch describes trials or tests as walls that you simply have to find a way to climb. This phrase in itself inspires me. All you have to do is find a way to fix it, it’s that simple. That’s something tangible that I can understand, most times the problem gets so huge in your head that you can’t see a way around it. This helps me to put it into perspective-every problem can be solved it’s just a matter of figuring out how.    

Pausch also speaks of his wife. At one point she broke up with him saying she just didn’t love him. This is a huge blow for anyone, especially when you know this is your person, the one you want to share your life with. He didn’t let that stop him, just another wall. He stuck by her and now they have three beautiful children and a wonderful life for however long he has left.

This is not even a tenth of the life lessons and inspiring stories Randy Pausch shares in his memoir. Warning: the last two chapters are about his family and are HEARTBREAKING. Keep tissues nearby. The book is called The Last Lecture. Go. Get. It. Now.

It WILL inspire you and touch your heart.

Go now…seriously.

It’s summer in Nashville, and aside from the fact that I can’t see and/or breathe its incredible!! So here’s my list of wonderful summer Nashville things!!

• Movies in the Park. Picture Jennifer Lopez and Matthew McConaughey in Wedding Planner but better..and real. And the icing on the cake, they are playing Dirty Dancing. Yeah I’m crazy for Swayze, I said it. Don’t act like you never wanted to carry a watermelon.

•  Canoeing! Yeah it’s the Harpeth and yeah its like a big bath but I love it! Even when Tipp makes me row us all by myself! Watch out for the cows!!!

• A tan! Summer means I get to look healthy and not like a little Indian kid with jaundice and huge circles under her eyes! and NO MAKEUP! I’ll be damned if I’m wearing makeup in 145 degree weather with 200% humidity..deal with it! I’m going with the theory that a tan makes you look ten pounds skinnier..now if they are right about looking ten pounds skinnier if you stand up straight, I’m at my goal weight!! How do you like that weight watchers!

• We won’t have 25 kids in each gymnastics class I teach on the bus! And since the kids can go outside all day it’s not a melee when they get to come out to us! Downside, sweaty little bodies that just want to loll all over you. One more upside, when it gets really hot they just want to lie down. Maybe I should just put the heaters on year round?

• Dancing in the Park. A huge band playing swing, latin or Jazz music. And tons of people dancing like professionals at sunset! Who am I kidding, I’ll never have the balls to go out there! I look like Elaine when I dance. NOT cute! Maybe I’ll go watch..

• Ugly Betty is about 28 and still has braces. Hey ABC, no one has braces for 5 years, I think its time to let her get them off. Evolve the character people.

• I could not have loved it more when Bailey told the nurses on Grey’s to close their legs and stop having sex with Sloan. Those nurses are whores, quit sleeping around and concentrate on your job bitches!! And Sloan?? Seriously, you’re trying to tell me it shocked them he was sleeping around??!!? I guess that’s why they aren’t Doctors, not so smart. (sorry if anyone is a nurse out there! Love you!)

• I think my dog has Pica. He ate about a pound of sand today, isn’t that weird? I’m pretty sure I’ll be dealing with doggy diarrhea in about 3 hours. Not the smartest dog on earth.

• I forgot what it’s like to be so happy you actually can’t think of anything to bitch about. I’m not sure I’ve ever been this happy. If you know me you know it’s big if I can’t find something to be sarcastic about!

• My dog’s favorite toys are some knitting and his brush…I think he’s gay. Maybe it’s because he has two mommies. It’s ok I accept him just as he is, don’t worry.

• Angelina Jolie’s having twins. I really hate that tramp, but still kind of wish she lived in Nashville and needed childcare, she would keep my school open with her 48 children. Imagine the diapers those people buy, they will have 4 children (possibly 5) in diapers. I think she uses anti-birth control.

• Tipp’s post on 15 parenting tips is hilarious. I think it is hilarious how many people just wing parenting. READ A BOOK PEOPLE! DAMN! If your 8 year old sleeps in your bed, still takes a bottle and breast feeds you are a failure. Plain and Simple.

• I tried out for Wheel Of Fortune one time. I didn’t make it…damnit. I would kick that shows ass. I’m a puzzle solving fool!

• Have you ever seen the loony tunes when Bugs Bunny dresses up like a women gladiator and rides that crazy horse with the skinny legs in order to entice Elmer Fudd and it works?? You so lovely, my broomhilda…HILARIOUS

• I wish they would get internet on planes, 18 hours would fly by if I could look up random gorilla facts or which celebrity married who. OR I could play Scrabble!! I’m excited just thinking about it!!

• Why do people think monkeys are so cute? Is it the disgusting beady eyes, horrific stench, crazy high pitched squeal sound they make? Or is it the fact that they are the root of pretty much every disease in the world?? NOT CUTE!

• I wonder who came up with the idea to do some really dangerous things, and who tried it out first. Like swimming with sharks, jumping out of planes, diving over waterfalls in a barrel? Seriously when did that sound like a good idea??

• If you were Hilary Clinton would you just give in before the race was over, for the sake of “the party”?? NO! Does she seem like she gives a shit about the good of “the party”…I think I’m going to start using the phrase “the party”..from now on my friends are “the party”

• I love using inverted commas when I speak..

The details:
- Post the rules on your blog
- Write six random things about yourself in a blog post
- Tag six people in your post
- Let each person know they are tagged by leaving a comment on their blog
- Let the tagger know your entry is up

Here’s my six random things

• I have been a superhero for every Halloween (except last year) for as long as I can remember. Cat woman, Bat Girl, Superwoman…I also own superhero underwear…

• I have always wanted to work at Disney World, as one of the characters. I even applied once..Apparently I’m only eligible to be Jasmine or Pocahontas..Damnit I had my heart set on Ariel.

•  I have a huge crush on Benji from So You Think You Can Dance…Yes Yes it’s embarrassing, he is just so happy damnit.

• I actually read the Dog Whisperer to help me figure out what the hell to do with Atticus sometimes.

• I cry every time I watch Titanic. (don’t lie, you know you do to!)..Those two had only each other!!!!

• I can do a really awesome Indian Accent. Every time Mae and I do it, J loses it laughing. It’s hilarious.

Ok I tag Tipp, Mrs. Lilac, I’m not really a Diva, and Michelle and The City

Here’s mine!

1. Learn how to drive a stick shift (yes, yes, it’s pathetic I know)
2. Swim in the Dead Sea
3. Sing on Broadway (this is one of those unattainable ones..if you know me you know why..I am not exactly musically inclined)
4. Live in London
5. See Gorillas (not at the zoo, I want to see them wild)
6. Drive across the US. (Not coasts, I want to see all the middle bits)
7. Go to a clambake
8. Tend bar on an island..a la Cocktail with Tom Cruise…wait screw the working, I just want to live there.
9. See Mount Rushmore
10. Learn to snow board (and hopefully not kill myself)
11. Go to Russia
12. Take the Sound Of Music Tour in Austria (I’m going to sing every damn word of that movie the entire time too!!)
13. See the Seven Wonders of the World (yeah I know there are like 25 wonders, but I’ve got my seven all picked out)
14. See Buddhist Monks in a monastery
15. Canoe down the Zambezi

Tell me some of yours..I can’t promise I won’t steal them…

However, sometimes a good, ugly, snotty movie cry is just what you need. I started thinking about movies that make me weep like a fawn no matter how many times I’ve seen them. I am a huge fan of the movie cry, it’s so much better than the real life cry because you aren’t really sad, just lost in the story.

So in case any of you are in the need for a nice weeping sob fest here are some of my favorite sad movies.

1.  Terms of Endearment. This is THE sad movie of all time. It stars Shirley Maclaineand Debra Winger as mother and daughter. This movie came out in 1983 but has lost none of its relevance. Let me set the scene for you..Debra Winger has three children with a real asshole husband (Jeff Daniels) she has terminal cancer and is in the last stages. Her mother Shirley Maclaineis taking care of Debra, the kids and dealing with the husband. There is a scene in the hospital where Shirley Maclaineruns around the nurses station screaming “My daughters in pain, she needs her pills, get my daughter her pills!!”.This might be the most heartbreaking moment in cinematic history. And we still have deathand custody of the children to deal with!

2. The Notebook. The undisputed best love story of all time. Allie and Noah. You’re a bird, I’m a bird. Life-long love. Die at the same time cause they can’t live without each other. WOAH. GOOD MOVIE! This movie is great because it spans these people’s entire lives, it invests you in them. Too often there are movies where the people meet in one day and love each other madly. This does not ring true. Noah waited 14 years for Allie, then spent his entire life making her happy and moved away from his home to be with her. It doesn’t get much better than that. This movie is what I think every women on earth secretly yearns for. And if they say differently they are lying to you!

3. Steel Magnolias. Sally Field is the best freaker outter in the history of the universe. When she screams “I was supposed to go first, I was ready to go first” It rips your heart out and stomps on it. Add Julia Roberts, Dolly Parton, Shirley Maclaine (she’s a common theme in this post), and Olympia Dukakis and you have got an all star cast, ready to make you cry so hard you throw up. This movie is not only sad it is funny, has great lines and has a great message. The whole package. Some of the aforementioned great lines–

“Laughter through tears is my favorite emotion”

“If you don’t have anything nice to say..come sit by me!”

“You know I love you more than my luggage”

“I’m not mean, I’ve just been in a very bad mood for 40 years!”

4. Rent. This is lesser known than the others and a musical so you might not have seen it. If not, you NEED to!!! This movie has the most fantastic music of all time. The music makes this movie. The subject matter is touchy and might turn some people off, but it teaches empathy and understanding for people that are not necessarily like you but have feelings and problems nonetheless. This story is about a group of friends living in NYC in the late 80s-early 90s. Most of them are HIV positive and they are all poverty stricken. When Angel dies and the group is fighting at his funeral it is all I can do not to throw up from crying so hard. This movie feels more real than the others on the list and I am partial to musicals so that could have to do with my attachment to it. And of course my friends and I are total Rentheads (15 years too late..ah well!)

5. Lastly, I am putting When a Man Loves a Woman. This has Meg Ryan and Andy Garcia. Two of the cutest kids on the face of the earth played their children, Mae Whitman and Tina Majorino. These children make this movie. Quick background for you, Meg Ryan is an alcoholic, it is about how they deal with it and all the underlying issues that go with alcoholism. These children abslutely break your heart a million times in this movie. There is a scene where Andy Garcia has given up and is moving, he goes to tell the older girl (who isn’t his, he adopted her) he’s leaving and she asks him since she’s not his real kid will he still come visit her…Sweet lord, I’m tearing up just thinking about it. This movie is poignant and has exceptional acting. Andy and Meg are both fantastic and the kids, of course, steal the show.

Go to the movie store right now and get some of these, or queue em up baby!! But be sure to get the tissues, it’s gonna get ugly!

Did I miss any really great sad ones?

I have really only had two big fears in my life.

1. To come to the end of my life and look back with regret. I am terrified to sit by myself when I’m 80 and think Damnit I should have done _____. I want to sit there by myself and be content with my memories, knowing I left no stone unturned.  There is a train song about looking back on your life at various points, it scares the crap out of me!

2. Having my kids think I am uncool–and them being RIGHT! I have had my ridiculous teen years and many (MANY) disagreements with my parents over the years, but I could never accuse them of being uncool. They aren’t, it’s just a fact. My parents have lived a fantastic life; owned businesses, emigrated, traveled the world, been in jail for protesting human rights, walked in the jungle with lions, had kids, grandkids and danced like fools. They are cool. I want my kids to feel the same way about me, to just know that I have experienced life and can offer them advice from that experience.

So yes I am less than cautious, in love and otherwise. As to the in love part, I have dated some wonderful and not so great people but I can honestly say I don’t regret anyone. I have always learned from the experience. I can honestly say I wouldn’t change a thing. I’ve only really been knocked on my ass one time. It was the kind of thing where you love someone so much you don’t see their faults and would move mountains to be with them. I have learned from that experience how resilient I am and that I definitely want to the movie love kind of love. It’s out there people! I see it in my married friends and parents every day. Sometimes just glimpses and its not all roses but it’s there! So yes i jump in with both feet and if I knew how to dive I’m sure I’d do that too!

I’ve made mistakes and will probably make tons more. I’ve ugly cried and laughed so hard I thought I would throw up. I’ve never stayed in a job I hate, never stayed in a relationship long after it was good just because it was comfortable, I’ve done my dream job, and had one foot in one ocean and the other in another. I’ve done some stupid things that I won’t go into, but I don’t regret them! If anything they are really funny stories! So, I’m going to continue to jump in headfirst and hope that when the time comes I will look back and be content.  

This crappy story got me thinking about some of the really stupid stuff celebrities do. It makes me laugh. These people are so predictable, I mean come on at least make it interesting (who am i kidding I watch access Hollywood every day!)!

Such as, Isaiah Washington calling T.R. Knight a fag and then REPEATING it over and over!! I mean for the love of Pete man, learn to shut the hell up!! Because of your verbal diarrhea you lost a job on the number 1 rated TV show and will forever be remembered as a bigot. Good move, asshole!

Another stupid celebrity trick was Britney Spears. I mean I can’t even go into that girls issues. My heart bleeds for her, it must be hard to be a million at the age of 12. That is DEFINITELY an excuse to go cuckoo for cocoa puffs and drag two innocent babies down with you. My heart bleeds for her.  I never thought I would see the day when Kevin Federline was the front runner in a custody battle. I mean he DOES have like 12 kids with 10 different mommas so I’m sure custody battles are old hat to him. He’s beaten the system!!!

Oh wait I forgot my favorite one! Miley Cyrus’s nudey Vanity Fair pics! Come on guys, I don’t care if Annie Lebowitz says its a good idea to strip down your tween and lay her all over Daddy it doesn’t mean go for it! I mean DAMN who’s the parents here? And where the hell was Mom? And HELLO the kid is a damn Disney star. I don’t think Old Walt would have wanted his top money maker made up like a damn street urchin and stripped down to her birthday suit (the blanket does not count in my book)! You sure ain’t Oliver Twist sweet heart! Let’s just say I can overlook the shocking misjudgment of stripping her pre-pubescent ass down (which I can’t), let’s just say they can call the nudey ones “Art” (which they can’t). How about the ones when she is sprawled all over Billy Ray??  I’m 25 and it’s safe to say I have never laid on my dad like that. Not for the sake of art or anything. There are lines people, you especially aren’t allowed to cross them with children in the car!! I think it’s time for Mom and Pops Cyrus to start to see their daughter instead of a giant paycheck with braces.

As an aside here, I seriously think Annie Lebowitz needs some therapy..Who sees a kid and her dad and immediately thinks “Let’s get naked!”

As I sit and think about all the stupid shit celebrities do on a daily basis it just makes me glad to be me! Not that i don’t do stupid stuff on a daily basis but at least no one is taping it!

What are your favorite celebrity screw ups??