I’m a bad mommy

Ok so I am a bad mommy.

So tonight I am hanging out with the pup at Mae’s. So I decided to be nice and clean up (really I just got bored and actually love to clean).

I am cleaning away and the TV goes nuts (Mae doesn’t have cable so picture this-Me wrapped in foil, one leg up in the air swearing–loudly). While I am balancing on one foot trying not to step on Atticus (his permanent place is under my feet) I knock off a bottle of oil (its smells good I guess) ONTO THE DOG!  

I AM A BAD MOMMY!

The dog is covered in oil and is getting his first bath once Mae gets home with shampoo. At 9 PM! DAMN IT!

Deep Thoughts..Again…

 More Deep Thoughts

 

• I love my life right now, I’m getting great news on all fronts!!! GOOD DAY!

 

• It was 80 degrees today and I didn’t have my little schmoopy cutey dog to play with in the park…sigh…

 

• Why do some people (who are clearly stupid) have this innate sense of entitlement, when they have done nothing to deserve it? And why is it they are always in a position of power? How did they get there?!?!?! On their backs, that’s how…

 

• Why does everyone pick on the weaker (i.e. nicer) kid?

 

• Christy Lee Cook HAD to go! Damn she sucked…

 

• M & M’s taste really good…way better than Smarties (that one was for you Jane!)

 

• Kate-of Jon and Kate plus 8- is kind of my mothering idol.

 

• “Evil will always win because good is dumb.” (name that quote!)

 

• Have you ever seen the Mike Myers skit–Hyper Hypo?? Picture it, Mike Myers and Nicole Kidman dressed as little kids in front of and old-school jungle gym. Mike Myers has one of those kid harnesses tying him to the jungle gym. Why do parents do that shit? I really think sometimes parents do this shit cause they hate their kids. I mean a harness really???

If you feel like laughing until you pee a little watch this!

 

 

• This was one of my first experiences working with kids-I go into a classroom all bright eyed and bushy tailed, sing song voice, sign language, and hand gestures all ready. I might as well have been wearing a puff paint sweater and holding an apple. I plop down in the middle of a classes circle time (kids sit in a circle and teacher teaches–pretty self explanatory) Here is the exchange:

Betsy: Wilby get your hands out of your pants!

Wilby: (who clearly has some issues going on in the southern region as his hands are in his pants up to his elbows)

Betsy: (after she asks him ten times and he keeps sticking em back down there, like there was a cookie in there or something) WILBY!! WHAT IS GOING ON!!!

Wilby: I’m trying to keep my PENIS DOWN!

Rosy: hysterical laughter, rolling around on the floor.

 

I miss Betsy.