So I’m sitting around with my parents watching some good clean American Idol preparing to take a nice long nap. Until my Dad furtively glances at my mom and says ”Tell her the ’drug story”
Sidenote #1- should parents ever use the words “drug story”??
My mom starts hysterically laughing, tears running down her face almost convulsing. Now I’m intrigued and also kind of nervous. So Les forcibly gains control of herself to tell me said “drug story”.
Apparently some guy wanted to work for my dad (who owns a Mulch delivery company, not exactly PhD’s here people, sad but true), employees are required to get a drug test you see.
So, the Dr. calls my dads office and tells my mom that this tool (believe me an appropriate term) has strapped a dildo (yes my mom used the word dildo) to his leg and filled it (HOW?!?!) with someone else’s urine (again ?!?!?!?! and WHY?!?!?).
Sidenote #2- My mom felt the need to explain to me what a dildo is. She says, “He strapped a dildo, you know like a fake penis?” Thanks for clearing that up MOM!
So the doctor obviously stands in the room while this dude is peeing in the cup and notices that he has a fake penis…(imagine THAT conversation!)..He actually called the guy on it..Imagine–
“Excuse me sir, do you have a large fake penis strapped to your leg?” (AWKWARD!!!)
As if that wasn’t enough, Dad was talking to the Dr. today and this is actually pretty common…There is even a website www.whizzinator.com that sells said penis’…My father then tells me that the penis’ come in 8 different shades. 8 DIFFERENT SHADES.
Now I ask you..what the hell is wrong with people?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
After this whole debacle Tipp and I were checking out this site (of course, who could resist) and turns out they don’t discriminate. There is a women’s site as well, I don’t even know how to begin to think how this would work or where you would store the urine.
So to wrap up
Mom said Dildo..repeatedly
People actually handle other people’s urine to fill fake penis’ which they then strap to their leg
Doctors are quite familiar with this “plan”
Dad talked about the shades of penis’
My parents think fake penis’ are hilarous
I kind of do too.
Rosy
