June 19, 2008

So after a horrendous trip to the dentist today–THREE cavities (I’ve never had one in my life, then I get THREE?!?!? I think the hygienist is lying)

But I digress. Mae is working late so I decided to go hang with Atticus for a little while. After the best 11 minute ab workout on earth–Slim in 6, kicks my ass every time–Atticus and I head out for a walk. I figured I would get crazy and walk with the pup to a nearby park. We usually just walk around Mae’s complex a few times so this was big stuff for Atticus.

We set off. Mae lives on a main road so we are walking on a tiny little sidewalk with SVU’s whizzing by, causing me to have minor strokes every time the dog moves for fear he will dart into oncoming traffic.

Just as we walk out of death alley and onto a slightly larger stretch of sidewalk a old, crazy white man clad in only a wife beater and pants 17 sizes too big who is surely a clan member starts yelling obscenities at me. Well my fantastic super-dog Atticus AKA. Wolverine starts barking and growling at this old man (we’ll call him Forrest). I seriously thought my little 14.3 pound dog was going to hurdle the fence and rip Forrest’s Nazi flag tattoo right off his arm. Now Atticus loves strangers and always runs right to them. So for him to lose it on Forrest was a big deal. What a good dog! I think he’s a genius!

So we carry on walking to the park. With me picking the dog up and darting across the main road with visions of Frogger in my mind. I kept picturing those huge tractor trailers that flatten that little guy. We finally make it into the park and discover how much better this place is on foot than in a car. It’s called Ellington Agricultural Center, if you live in Nashville check out all the walking trails. After we explore a few trails and Atticus is dying of thirst (I didn’t bring him any water, yes I’m a bad dog owner) we find a river.

Atticus loved this river, he dug up things and ran like a crazy dog for about 40 minutes. I’ve never seen that lazy dog so excited. It was so cute. He and I were, sweaty, covered in mud and river water and I’m sure we looked like hobos or 12 year old kids after a long day.

Atticus was still so excited on the walk home that he practically ran. Since we had gone so slow on the way there I thought we would jog back. So as we are jogging Atticus decides he is going to dive headfirst into a stream that runs alongside the road. He completely immerses himself in the muddy water then leaps into my arms from fright. It looked to funny I collapsed on the side of the road in tears from laughter. So at this points we are sweaty, covered in mud, river water AND grass, out of breathe, and crying with laughter. 

We finally make it home. I know Mae will be seriously irate if she comes home to a nasty, wet, smelly dog. So I know the only option is to bath this poor exhausted creature. I wrestle him into the tub and proceed to get even more wet and stinky (is that possible at this point??) bathing him. I feed the poor animal and he practically kissed me for putting him back in his crate. I am sure he is FAST asleep as I type.

I then get into my car and immediately realize that I am that smell. It’s never good when you can smell yourself! After a freezing cold shower I am thouroughly exhausted and happy. 

What a Nashville day!!!!  


Ed. Note- Sorry guys I had video’s but I can’t figure it out just now!



June 2, 2008

I’m a bad blogger, I admit it. It’s pretty silly really, I don’t think anyone wants to hear me spewing love filled happiness or utter despair and rage at the world. So since those two emotions (one had nothing to do with the other, you try being blissful and hate-filled at the same time! NOT EASY) have been pretty much my life the past couple of weeks I have just kept silent.

I just read a post by my good friend and great blogger Mrs. Lilac about this person and it inspired me to say my piece about him.

So I am writing about something completely unrelated to my life at the moment. Randy Pausch. This man is a good example for the love and hate filled people out there. 

I think I would think he was a great inspiration even if he didn’t have terminal cancer and six months to live. This man’s LIFE is the great inspiration. He has attempted and attained most if not all of the goals he set out to; become an imagineer, find the love of his life, and a myriad of other things. 

Pausch describes trials or tests as walls that you simply have to find a way to climb. This phrase in itself inspires me. All you have to do is find a way to fix it, it’s that simple. That’s something tangible that I can understand, most times the problem gets so huge in your head that you can’t see a way around it. This helps me to put it into perspective-every problem can be solved it’s just a matter of figuring out how.    

Pausch also speaks of his wife. At one point she broke up with him saying she just didn’t love him. This is a huge blow for anyone, especially when you know this is your person, the one you want to share your life with. He didn’t let that stop him, just another wall. He stuck by her and now they have three beautiful children and a wonderful life for however long he has left.

This is not even a tenth of the life lessons and inspiring stories Randy Pausch shares in his memoir. Warning: the last two chapters are about his family and are HEARTBREAKING. Keep tissues nearby. The book is called The Last Lecture. Go. Get. It. Now.

It WILL inspire you and touch your heart.

Go now…seriously.


Summer Love

May 22, 2008

It feels like I haven’t posted in forever! I’ve been so blissfully happy I can’t seem to think of any sarcastic comments or make fun of people. I don’t even recognize myself!! And I didn’t want to post some sappy crap that would make everyone throw up in their mouths and delete me from their blog roll, so that left me nothing!

It’s summer in Nashville, and aside from the fact that I can’t see and/or breathe its incredible!! So here’s my list of wonderful summer Nashville things!!

  • Movies in the Park. Picture Jennifer Lopez and Matthew McConaughey in Wedding Planner but better..and real. And the icing on the cake, they are playing Dirty Dancing. Yeah I’m crazy for Swayze, I said it. Don’t act like you never wanted to carry a watermelon.


  •  Canoeing! Yeah it’s the Harpeth and yeah its like a big bath but I love it! Even when Tipp makes me row us all by myself! Watch out for the cows!!!


  • A tan! Summer means I get to look healthy and not like a little Indian kid with jaundice and huge circles under her eyes! and NO MAKEUP! I’ll be damned if I’m wearing makeup in 145 degree weather with 200% humidity..deal with it! I’m going with the theory that a tan makes you look ten pounds skinnier..now if they are right about looking ten pounds skinnier if you stand up straight, I’m at my goal weight!! How do you like that weight watchers!


  • We won’t have 25 kids in each gymnastics class I teach on the bus! And since the kids can go outside all day it’s not a melee when they get to come out to us! Downside, sweaty little bodies that just want to loll all over you. One more upside, when it gets really hot they just want to lie down. Maybe I should just put the heaters on year round?


  • Dancing in the Park. A huge band playing swing, latin or Jazz music. And tons of people dancing like professionals at sunset! Who am I kidding, I’ll never have the balls to go out there! I look like Elaine when I dance. NOT cute! Maybe I’ll go watch..




Deep Thoughts Part 44.8

May 15, 2008
  • Telephone headsets make me laugh..Hard. I want to sing Madonna songs whenever I see someone wearing them. Bluetooth is pretty much the same story, I laugh really hard when people wear them. Most of the time they see me laughing at them, oops. But seriously bluetooth..come on.


  • Ugly Betty is about 28 and still has braces. Hey ABC, no one has braces for 5 years, I think its time to let her get them off. Evolve the character people.


  • I could not have loved it more when Bailey told the nurses on Grey’s to close their legs and stop having sex with Sloan. Those nurses are whores, quit sleeping around and concentrate on your job bitches!! And Sloan?? Seriously, you’re trying to tell me it shocked them he was sleeping around??!!? I guess that’s why they aren’t Doctors, not so smart. (sorry if anyone is a nurse out there! Love you!)


  • I think my dog has Pica. He ate about a pound of sand today, isn’t that weird? I’m pretty sure I’ll be dealing with doggy diarrhea in about 3 hours. Not the smartest dog on earth.


  • I forgot what it’s like to be so happy you actually can’t think of anything to bitch about. I’m not sure I’ve ever been this happy. If you know me you know it’s big if I can’t find something to be sarcastic about!


  • My dog’s favorite toys are some knitting and his brush…I think he’s gay. Maybe it’s because he has two mommies. It’s ok I accept him just as he is, don’t worry.


  • Angelina Jolie’s having twins. I really hate that tramp, but still kind of wish she lived in Nashville and needed childcare, she would keep my school open with her 48 children. Imagine the diapers those people buy, they will have 4 children (possibly 5) in diapers. I think she uses anti-birth control.


  • Tipp’s post on 15 parenting tips is hilarious. I think it is hilarious how many people just wing parenting. READ A BOOK PEOPLE! DAMN! If your 8 year old sleeps in your bed, still takes a bottle and breast feeds you are a failure. Plain and Simple.


  • I tried out for Wheel Of Fortune one time. I didn’t make it…damnit. I would kick that shows ass. I’m a puzzle solving fool!





Deep Thoughts

May 12, 2008
  • Why does everyone seem to have a crazy neighbor? Mae’s neighbors are definitely loons. Talking on the phone outside, tatted, crazy hysterical dog, out all night..I say strippers, Mae says Christian musicians


  • Have you ever seen the loony tunes when Bugs Bunny dresses up like a women gladiator and rides that crazy horse with the skinny legs in order to entice Elmer Fudd and it works?? You so lovely, my broomhilda…HILARIOUS


  • I wish they would get internet on planes, 18 hours would fly by if I could look up random gorilla facts or which celebrity married who. OR I could play Scrabble!! I’m excited just thinking about it!!


  • Why do people think monkeys are so cute? Is it the disgusting beady eyes, horrific stench, crazy high pitched squeal sound they make? Or is it the fact that they are the root of pretty much every disease in the world?? NOT CUTE!


  • I wonder who came up with the idea to do some really dangerous things, and who tried it out first. Like swimming with sharks, jumping out of planes, diving over waterfalls in a barrel? Seriously when did that sound like a good idea??


  • If you were Hilary Clinton would you just give in before the race was over, for the sake of “the party”?? NO! Does she seem like she gives a shit about the good of “the party”…I think I’m going to start using the phrase “the party”..from now on my friends are “the party”


  • I love using inverted commas when I speak..





Random Things

May 11, 2008

Ok so Chickbug tagged me.

The details:
– Post the rules on your blog
– Write six random things about yourself in a blog post
– Tag six people in your post
– Let each person know they are tagged by leaving a comment on their blog
– Let the tagger know your entry is up

Here’s my six random things

  • I have been a superhero for every Halloween (except last year) for as long as I can remember. Cat woman, Bat Girl, Superwoman…I also own superhero underwear…


  • I have always wanted to work at Disney World, as one of the characters. I even applied once..Apparently I’m only eligible to be Jasmine or Pocahontas..Damnit I had my heart set on Ariel.


  •  I have a huge crush on Benji from So You Think You Can Dance…Yes Yes it’s embarrassing, he is just so happy damnit.


  • I actually read the Dog Whisperer to help me figure out what the hell to do with Atticus sometimes.


  • I cry every time I watch Titanic. (don’t lie, you know you do to!)..Those two had only each other!!!!



  • I can do a really awesome Indian Accent. Every time Mae and I do it, J loses it laughing. It’s hilarious.


Ok I tag Tipp, Mrs. Lilac, I’m not really a Diva, and Michelle and The City


Bucket List

May 11, 2008

I think everyone should do this. It is a list of things you want to accomplish before you die. These can’t be life goals, like have kids or get married. They need to be random things you’ve always wanted to do. The catch is you actually have to try and accomplish some of them!

Here’s mine!

  1. Learn how to drive a stick shift (yes, yes, it’s pathetic I know)
  2. Swim in the Dead Sea
  3. Sing on Broadway (this is one of those unattainable ones..if you know me you know why..I am not exactly musically inclined)
  4. Live in London
  5. See Gorillas (not at the zoo, I want to see them wild)
  6. Drive across the US. (Not coasts, I want to see all the middle bits)
  7. Go to a clambake
  8. Tend bar on an island..a la Cocktail with Tom Cruise…wait screw the working, I just want to live there.
  9. See Mount Rushmore
  10. Learn to snow board (and hopefully not kill myself)
  11. Go to Russia
  12. Take the Sound Of Music Tour in Austria (I’m going to sing every damn word of that movie the entire time too!!)
  13. See the Seven Wonders of the World (yeah I know there are like 25 wonders, but I’ve got my seven all picked out)
  14. See Buddhist Monks in a monastery
  15. Canoe down the Zambezi

Tell me some of yours..I can’t promise I won’t steal them…